Things I have learned since my dad got cancer on Tuesday

• When you are at a large Jewish hospital and you get lost (oh, and you WILL get lost), you will find yourself having conversations with your brother that go like this:  “But you said SHOENBERG Pavilion, NOT STEINMAN Pavilion!  What?  SteinBERG?  There’s a SteinBERG?  Where’s Shoenberg?  Please don’t tell me there’s a Shoenman.”
• Teaching hospital=doctors that look like Doogie’s younger brothers.  I half expected them to text him with, “Dood! It’s in ur lymf nodes, killin ur cells.”
• I never knew much about my father’s genitals.  Now I know too much.  (Oh, and the next person who mentions Lance Armstrong?  Kick in the shins.)
• My mom is the strongest woman in the world.